Review of The Suicide Index by Joan Wickersham

The Suicide Index is Joan Wickersham's memoir about the aftermath of her father's suicide. Instead of "regular" chapters, there are categories, like "Suicide: act of, bare bones account" and "Suicide: items found in my husband's closet and." The book is a pretty linear account of what happened, but Wickersham used an index in which to frame the book. This, we can guess, is to try to make logical a horrible act that is completely illogical to those who survive.

Wickersham's book, a finalist for the National Book Award in 2008, can be very difficult to read at certain points. There were definitely moments when I felt like a voyeur and didn't want to know certain details of her family history. But there were more moments when I could see the love Wickersham had for her father and how his suicide upended her life, not just in the years after his death, but forever.

Wickersham traces her father's life from an abusive childhood in Europe and the U.S. to numerous business failures as an adult. She discusses her mother's reaction to finding him dead in the study of their house. She talks about how the death of her father affected her own marriage.

This book is not only about suicide, but also about loss, love and the human condition. It's clear that Wickersham will never fully recover-- how could anyone?-- but we see that, with this book, she tries to understand.

Here's an excerpt:
This is what my father did. He got up, showered, shaved, and dressed for work. He went downstairs and made a pot of coffee, and while it was brewing he went outside and walked the long driveway to pick up the newspaper. He left the newspaper folded on the kitchen table, poured a cup of coffee, carried it upstairs, and put it on my mother's bedside table. She was still in bed, sleeping. Then he went into his study, closed the door, and shot himself.

Just One Pink gives The Suicide Index an 8.